Tribal golB: Nov'09

Dear Ari,

It was nice seeing you again today. Please keep me apprised of the progress you're making and how I can help. I'm a simple minded high tech person that likes to share technology and life experiences and help people along the way.

Dear Ari ,

You are confirmed for [meeting] with [company] on Monday, January 01, 0001, 12:00 AM - 12:00 AM PST. When you get in ask for someone in [department].

Dear Ari,

Thanks for sharing. The idea is definitely very interesting. A lot of observations you are making in the document resonate with my experience (on many levels :))  It would be very nice to discuss all this [over a cup of tea].

It is difficult for me to give you a serious feedback on the document, for I don't clearly understand its "status" - whether it is an essay or a some sort of a group's program document. Also, what is the group going to do?

Still, all this seems to be intriguing. Looking forward discussing all this with you.

Dear Ari,

The doc looks like an interesting start/draft. One can take it further and add anger, denial and so on. Or add group dynamics - pack leader, alpha dog, groups competing for management / customer / community attention.

Are you writing a paper or thinking about a social network for soft engineers with psych features?

Dear Ari,

I'm more than happy to talk about this after Thanksgiving. But, this text is already adorable as it stands. Adorable is a strange word to use but that was my first reaction :-) As you know I'm a psychologist [as well as a technologist] so I might object on scientific reasons: like: where did you get your data. But, as a casual reader I would say that this is just fun to read. Go ahead, publish it and lets talk next week.

Dear Ari,

I like this! At first I was wondering if the feelings applied to the human interactions involved in software engineering, or to the actual code. It looks like the answer - the right answer, I think - is both.

Dear Ari,

I'm not an expert in emotions, but I have read in some agile book that they recommend dissociation of ownership with the sources, i.e. they propose that you don't put your name in the source code as author, you don't have the 1:1 mapping between code modules and owners/maintainers. Instead, if the source is seen as a community-owned rather than an individual-owned asset, then it is more easy to critique it (this is not my own opinion, just what I have read; unfortunately I can't recall where I got this from, as I didn't know I was going to be asked about it...).

Dear Ari,

So actually, I can completely see the need for a support group; do let me know more about the direction you'd like to take with the group.

Dear Ari,

I will attend the kickoff meeting on Dec. 2. I may or may not be able to commit to future meetings, but I'm interested in hearing what you have to say.

Dear Ari,

Interesting idea. I think your thoughts on Rejection and Shame are the ones I have most seen in my career thus far. Not sure about the 3rd party dependencies part of it, though. In my experience, when we have had trouble with 3rd party dependencies it has been due to political pressures to use a particular component, often against the wishes of the most talented engineers on the team. When things go wrong the engineers proved right in the end but politics prevail and the project suffers.

I think office politics play a huge role in software development at most companies. What is one to do when engineers disagree with management, but management calls the shots? Perhaps this is something you could think of as well.

happy thanksgiving!

Dear Ari,

I will be able to make the 2nd.

Dear Ari,

I heard about Trading Tribe from a friend, and saw on the http://www.seykota.com/tribe/Directory/index.htm website that you are the leader for Silicon Valley. When are you planning to kick off the meeting? I'd love to attend the meeting so I can better understand the process etc. I am in [city].

Dear Ari,

In general, I like it. It's articulated well and gets right to the point. But I have a few questions and comments.

Shame

Is it really shame that tells people not to wear clothes to public showers? I can see the argument that it is based on cultural norms but I find it harder to believe that shame drives people to not wear clothes in that situation.

Also, is blocking shame really shameless? Without shame and blocking shame are different. When you say "We call people ... shameless", are you using the royal "we" as in everyone in the world or "we" as in the authors?

I would probably note that it isn't just the author of untested code that gets shamed when it fails in production but also their manager and the company. As I was mentioning on the phone, I think that identifying and correcting these behaviors is also important for coworkers and managers of people who block code reviews, are against source control, etc. Therefore, if you can show how these behaviors affect everyone and not just the programmer it will make it appealing to more people.

Rejection

I don't know if I buy the analogy of rejection with relationships. Just because a guy keeps getting rejected by women does not mean he will learn what his "type" is. Instead, I think men know what their type is and will continue to search for a women who matches their type but accepts them, regardless of being rejected in the past.

Also, I don't think it's the men who "continue proposing relationships to women who have no interest in [them]" that are "unwilling to feel rejection". Rather, they have no fear of rejection. Otherwise they wouldn't be pursuing the relationships in the first place. Fear of rejection prevents people from engaging.

Disappointment

Due to the timing, it is not possible to access the YC application. In fact, the link you provide doesn't even go directly to the application so the reader must do their own searching to "get" the reference you make.

Also...

What's with the repeated use of "big-time"? I don't think it sounds professional. If you decide to retain it, use it consistently: "big-time" or "big time" but not both.

There are a few grammar issues here and there. Minor stuff but you probably want to do a read-through to catch and fix any remaining issues.

Hope this is useful.

Dear Ari,

This has taken a while... sorry about that. I really enjoy your draft and it prompts me to change some things in my project. Having thought about it, I think this is a useful concept in software engineering.

I especially like

- shame and pair programming and unit testing. In this context the XP notion of "spike" (test the hairy parts of the project early so you manage the risk of having to redo the whole thing) is relevant also [I decided to do this in a project of mine as a result of your paper].

- feature creep and rejection

Some comments

entrain - sounds like jargon (I know Ed uses it but still...)

"Other communities" - it is not clear which original community you are contrasting with these other communities.

"Pairs programming" -> Pair programming

...Another example of Shame is release early, release often (before it is perfect) to get technical and customer feedback.

"Criminal justice system" - at first I do not understand what you are talking about (rape) - perhaps you could be more explicit and use a less extreme (implied example) eg setting himself up for big-time public, explicit rejection.

Henry Ford is interesting because he took ignoring customer rejection too far and Ford has trailed GM ever since as a result.

"He's OK because insurance pays the damage" - actually he could be seriously injured or killed, so there is no need to pull your punches here.

Fear: in software - there are two cases - the person who employs bogus means such as strong typing to create the illusion that errors cannot happen, and the person who just employs code and test and does not think about errors.

Disappointment, software: also, people who do not properly evaluate tools etc because they don't want short term disappointment are setting up for big problems later.

A common theme - ignoring or hiding from feelings sets up situations where they arise in situations where they cannot be ignored.

The one-liner / title of your tribe - maybe you could focus on the benefits more eg becoming more effective s.w engineers by experiencing and dealing with feelings.

Best of luck Ari - I think it is a worthwhile endevor and I am trying these ideas out myself.

Dear Ari,

I think I need to pass on [attending the tribe meeting on] 12/2. I'm starting to spread myself too thin, and I'm 99.99% sure that I wouldn't want to commit to the full schedule at this stage. I like the idea of your group, but I need to focus on what I've got going for me before taking on something new. Setting limits like this is a new thing for me.

Dear Ari,

A client obligation intervenes this week; I am sorry to have to cancel [my commitment to attend a Tribe meeting]. My email of my impressions will follow shortly.

Dear Ari,

Are there more social / sociable features coming up on the site? Do you need help hosting / tuning the underlining app?